Missing Nutrient
Sleep!
As parents, we see firsthand what happens when our kids do not get enough sleep. The craziness that ensues after a night of restless sleep or worse when it is a season of sleep disturbances. It can leave the whole household on edge. Moms will do crazy things to get their kids to sleep through the night and wake up feeling rested.
When I meet with a new parent or have follow-up calls with existing clients who are parents, it is not uncommon for them to give me a play-by-play when it comes to their children's sleep:
“They grind their teeth.”
“They snore.”
“They toss and turn, kicking their legs.”
The list goes on. Parents can tell me how many times their kids are waking up each night. What time they wake up and how long it takes them to fall back to sleep. They implement strict bedtime routines and track the progress. Why? Because we understand that with kids, sleep is a nutrient that cannot be overlooked.
If they are not sleeping, they cannot recover. If they are not sleeping, their brain may not drain effectively. If they are not sleeping it can affect their school work, their growth and so much more.
How to address sleep
I find that in the General ROAD map to health with kids, sleep needs to be addressed in the same stage as foundations. Now, there are plenty of pathogens that can cause disturbances during sleep that might not be addressed right away, but we do need to support sleep in order to create a healthy foundation. When kids are not sleeping, it is a big red flag to pause, navigate that, and then move forward.
Sleep is like a bank system. We need hours of sleep each night to just do basic things biochemically. We need to be depositing good hours of sleep so the body can restore itself, then during the day we are withdrawing. When we withdraw and do not properly put deposits back in, we are creating more stress on the system and asking the body to give us more than we have put in. We understand in the sense of a bank, you would be laughed at if you asked the teller for the money you do not have in your account. Yet we do this as adults constantly. So why is it any different for adults than it is for kids?
According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine:
Toddlers need 11-14 hours of sleep
Preschoolers need 10-13 hours of sleep
Children need 9-12 hours
Teens need 8-10 and Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep.
Those are the minimum hours to function in a day. I have found those who are healing from chronic illness often need more. The more your adrenals are stressed, the more sleep and recovery you need.
While some say it is just genetics and they need less sleep. There is not a lot of evidence that shows this to be true. Most of the time we just get into the habit of overworking, and sleeping less, and the older we get the more we rely on stimulants. We wonder why we get stuck in fight or flight all the time, yet we cannot pause to rest and sleep. “We don't have time.” There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. We need sleep as much as we need sunshine, movement, whole food, and water.
I often see people miss out on sleep for the sake of getting in a good workout. You cannot supplement or bio-hack enough to justify not getting a goodnight's sleep.
But getting into a good place of sleep requires a lot of intention. You cannot run throughout your day and then all of a sudden go to bed and expect your mind and body to just shut off. You have to understand what you do throughout your day will affect the way you sleep.
Reasons for sleep difficulties
Are you stuck in fight or flight or even that dorsal vagal freeze mode, and you are not getting into rest and digest all day? Are you getting a ton of blue light in the evenings without any sunshine during the day?
Are you supporting your blood sugar throughout the day with proper nutrition? Are you working on foundational pieces that might be negatively affecting you or your child’s sleep or are you just checking off lack of sleep as a common adult thing?
Leading by example
Two final pieces - Our kids catch more than they are taught. If we want them to live lives that are marked by good health and quality of life then we need to teach them the importance of sleep. We need to show them through our actions that sleep is just as important for us as it is for them. I see many kids struggling with sleep and I see the connection of lack of sleep when it comes to their overall health. I believe many adults started becoming sleep deprived when they were younger and the pattern continues. Parents in this space often go to pretty big measures to help their children live healthy lives, but sleep is one that often seems overlooked or is addressed for the children but the parents do not believe it applies to them.
Rest is a gift
God's word tells us that: “God gives sleep to His children.” Psalm 127:2
Sleep is a gift. Our dependency upon sleep is there to remind us that we do not hold the future. It is not by our strength that the world keeps turning. When we have hearts that are rested and secure in our Heavenly Father, we can let the stuff on our list that didn't get done today go and we can go to sleep and rest knowing that He is holding it all. If we cannot do this, then let it be an invitation into examining our hearts and the lack of trust that might be coming with it.
Final thoughts
There are always exceptions to the rules. There are always a few circumstances where the ideal is lacking. But know that when we examine our sleep, the quality of it and reasons around why we may not be sleeping enough or getting quality sleep. If we see that we are lacking then let it be an invitation into understanding how you can support this part of your life better. Anger is often a fight response and shame is often a flight response. Do not let those emotions rule the conviction of realizing that sleep could be a better priority for you.
Do not miss this incredibly important key nutrient.