Part 2: Pursuing the Heart
The Spiritual and Physical Source of Life
From the Abundance of the Heart
I could feel my son pulling away. You know the stereotypical image: (pre)/teen boy, hunched shoulders, headphones on, and withdrawn from the family. We were well on our way there and I could see only a shadow of the hilarious, kind, engaging kid I had loved for over a decade. His nervous system was on high alert, and in deep need of calming. His defenses were up - and simple conversations became arguments.
The world would try to say his turning inward and isolation were just the nature of life with a boy entering his teen years. But I knew the Lord had called us to something deeper, and when I went to him in prayer, He gave me Philippians 4:8:
<8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned[e] and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. >
I asked my kiddo to write down a list of the top things that he loved or found interesting. Then, on that same list, I asked him to write a word that associates with each of his interests. It didn’t take long for a pattern to pop-up.
Between video games and books on disaster and war, we were both able to see that he had inadvertently been flooding his brain with images of devastation. Guns. Violence. Death.
Like so many other boys his age, the words and images of his every day were a far cry from all things pure, lovely, and excellent. And they were taking their toll on his mind, his body, and his heart.
Again, his defenses went up. He couldn’t accept a conversation on peace because it felt like a direct attack on the things his heart loved. But we didn’t give up, and I didn’t retreat. We worked together to find interests to fill up his heart with peace. Abundance. Joy. Praise.
Luke 6:45 tells us:
<45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.>
The shift was huge. When we began to flood him and FILL him with words, images, and ideas that were praiseworthy - the abundance of his heart could overflow. And when the spiritual heart is full of joy, the physical heart, the face, the body react and reflect with health, too.
Mommas, the battle we are in for our children’s hearts is not one that will be easily won. And before we begin the fight - we have to understand just exactly why we have to lean in and what we are fighting for. The world is ready and waiting to flood their hearts with the ugly. The enemy knows a withdrawn child, a child isolated from the family, is an easier target with a heart that is easy to break - physically and spiritually.
This fight is not just for their health today, but this fight is for their souls, and for their lives.
A Faithful Spiritual Heart: The Wellspring of Life
“Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.”
The heart is the very center of our spiritual being. In the Old Testament, there is no separation of thoughts to the brain, emotions to the heart. Instead, in Proverbs, it is written that every bit of our moral character - our thoughts, our actions, our innermost being - is the heart. This is why we are commanded in scripture to guard it above all else, and to never attempt to guard our hearts with our own strength. We are commanded to faithfully open our hearts and trust in the Lord. Knowing, alone, we could not sustain the fight against the constant attacks and temptations of evil on our very source of life.
We have our very own Savior, defending our hearts like a fortress against the attack of death and darkness. Sharpening, preparing, and strengthening us so that one day the enemy gives up - accepting defeat. But what this fortified, Christ-filled wellspring does for our spiritual body, the physical heart does for the physical body.
A Joyful Physical Heart: A Pillar of Health
But, our physical hearts aren’t immune to attack, either. Our hearts can quite literally harden, fill with blockages, suffer an attack, or even break. Deeply stressful or emotional events can cause the heart to painfully tighten, to change structure, and even to quit beating altogether.²
And the heart is not an isolated system. It is responsible for sourcing our entire body with oxygen - with life. But if the heart becomes overloaded with stressors and oxygen doesn’t circulate, we see a cascade of potential life-long effects. Blood flow and oxygenation are reduced, and toxic levels of cortisol and inflammation begin to circulate, instead, altering brain function and even basic heart structures.⁶
I see so many of our health concerns today that are rooted in the disbalance of this system: PANDAS, PANS, autism - all thrive in this disbalance of inflammation. Cancer grows in the absence of oxygen.⁷ Blood sugars that won’t stabilize and an increased risk of diabetes, inflammation from toxins and overwhelm, all wreaking havoc when a core pillar of our health, like heart and immune function, weaken.⁶
Feed the disbalance with a large dose of fear, mistrust, and anxiety and you have the ripe soil for disease and infection to take root. Fear and anxiety reduce blood flow to the heart and cause cortisol levels to spike. A devastating cycle is then set into motion - widespread inflammation within the body, platelet dysfunction, and higher incidence of fatty deposits in the arteries. Anxiety feeding the diseases of the heart like blood clots, atherosclerosis, and heart attacks, and the diseases feeding the anxiety. ³
But if we know disease and toxin overload are inevitable this side of heaven, if we have a child that is in constant battle for balance because of the overwhelm any of these conditions can put on their body systems - we can build up these pillars of health and strengthen them for the fight, from the inside, out.
Like the chambers of our hearts opened to the spiritual filling and defense of the Lord, why can’t the physical chambers of the heart be fortified by care that speaks directly to our innermost desire to be seen, known, and loved?
Time and again the medical community has proven simple acts of love such as laughter, joy, and kindness bring healing - and bring it faster - to patients fighting emotional and physical illness.⁵ Simple laughter has proven to increase the immune response so effectively, it causes a measurable change to the immunity passed through breastmilk from momma to nursing infant.⁴
One 10-year-old client sought healing for a knee injury, and met first with a doctor that gave a diagnosis of long-term pain with no hope for healing. In a quick five minute conversation, he told her the pain was going to be constant and relentless, and crushed her hopes to play basketball, ride a bike, or run. She left the office limping in pain, defeated and hopeless.
A second opinion led her to multiple practitioners that offered her hope. Not a quick fix, by any means, and not without pain and effort. Still, she left the exam bouncing with possibility. Her desire, her need for healing was seen and heard. And that alone brought the beginning of physical relief.
Connecting to The Heart For Life
When our children feel loved, known, seen, and cared for, we build physical resilience in this inner fortress.⁶ A resilience that is necessary because just like the constant attack of evil, there will be the inevitable attack of toxins and molds, disease and injury. But when we have the foundational connection to their hearts, they can trust that no matter the pain of the battle, we won’t leave their sides. They can trust our ability to give them rest, when they need to rest. We can fend off the attack and the input of the world to make space for their healing. We pull them from the endless cycle of anxiety and disease, and replace it with joy and hope for the future.
Because later, as they grow and mature, they can accept that there is no fear in pain. We have walked the path ahead of them and taught that illness and emotional pain are all normal, unavoidable parts of being human. We can raise children equipped to lean into the pain points, seeing pain signals as a need for change or a time of growth. We can raise a generation empowered to endure the difficult times and emotions, instead of running in fear or avoidance - seeking the numbing escape to drugs and distraction.
Progress, Not Perfection
But, like the arrow, this fighting heart is a long-range weapon. This is not short-term work, but instead a vision for their life-long health. The long vision reminds us not to give up when we face setbacks: either physical or spiritual. We can keep our eyes on progress, and not be defeated by impossible standards of perfection. Just as the Lord strengthens the spiritual heart for attack, the physical heart is strengthened by health and connection so that 50, 60 years from now our children will have fighter’s hearts carrying them into old age.
Don’t worry about failure, momma. Remember, if your heart is set on the Lord, He will fill it. And if you are still pursuing their hearts, day in and day out, you can’t fail. With the long view, we realize there is not a race to finish reaching their hearts. This is our life-long pursuit. We see it one step, and one healing connection at a time.
So, tell me - what life do you envision for your children 30, 40, 50 years from now? Who are they? What do they value? What is their quality of life? I challenge you to grab a journal this week, and write down your dream for the future of your child/children. And then, name one actionable step you can take THIS week to connect to their hearts and set them on that path.
Sources:
https://biblehub.com/commentaries/maclaren/proverbs/4.htm
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/broken-heart-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354617
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26496141/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2762283/
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120503194219.htm